The Gift of an Open Adoption

I will never forget an adoption case we were presented with during the first few months of our adoption journey. I was reading through the case and read that the birth mom had a lot of specific requests and desired a very open adoption. I panicked! What did this mean? Could she make decisions for a child we adopted? Would it be more like co-parenting? We had already taken classes on open adoption, but only listened to the bare minimum to get the credit. We didn’t realize the importance of those classes until faced with an open adoption opportunity. Curiosity and the need for clarity prompted a barrage of questions to truly understand what open adoption entailed and what it would mean for us. 

That was early on in our adoption journey when we thought we just wanted more children and adoption seemed like a good option for our family. It’s hard to even write that down knowing what I know now. Adoption wasn’t just about us. It’s never just about expanding your family. There are so many hearts involved when a child is adopted. For us, it was a two year journey to meet our son. We said yes to more than 60 adoption cases and with each yes, we felt more humbled. It wasn’t just about us anymore, it was about the birth mom or family on the other side of our story. 

Those two years prepared us to want an open adoption and truly value what that meant to us. In our case, we matched with a beautiful nine month old little boy. His first mom raised him until she became homeless and selflessly wanted him to have a life she couldn’t give him. God prepared our hearts not only for that little boy, but also for his first mom. Early in our journey, we weren’t ready for an open adoption. We didn’t see what was on the other side of our son’s story, but we were ready when he came into our lives. We loved him instantly, but our hearts were broken for his first mom. We loved her heart and her strength. We wanted to make her decision as easy as possible and give her the opportunity to stay in close contact even when she originally thought she only wanted pictures. The Lord blessed us with her. She gave us a priceless gift and we wanted to honor her. 

Not all situations lead to open adoptions, but when there is an opportunity to love someone that gave you something so beautiful, it is a gift. We were blessed to have an opportunity for an open adoption and we value the relationship God has given us. We hope and pray that Jesus shines through us and blesses her life. We not only have the opportunity to show our child the love of Christ, but his first mom as well.